Family

Family

·     a social unit living together; "he moved his family to ....Virginia...."; "It was a good Christian household"; "I waited until the whole house was asleep ... ....

·     primary social group; parents and children; "he wanted to have a good job before starting a family" ....

·     class: a collection of things sharing a common attribute; "there are two classes of detergents" ....

·     people descended from a common ancestor; "his family has lived in ....Massachusetts.... since the Mayflower" ....

·     kin: a person having kinship with another or others; "he's kin"; "he's family" ....

·     (biology) a taxonomic group containing one or more genera; "sharks belong to the fish family" ....

·     syndicate: a loose affiliation of gangsters in charge of organized criminal activities ....

·     an association of people who share common beliefs or activities; "the message was addressed not just to employees but to every member of the company family"; "the church welcomed new members into its fellowship"
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

With sobriety comes enlightenment. The enlightenment may only mean something to me but with the age of blogs I have a chance to share the things that mean something to me. The blog for today has to do with family. I was raised in a crazy household but it was a family. The words step-brother and half-sister did not exist. My brother was my brother, my sister my sister and my parents my parents. Though the statement “blood is thicker than water” is very true the his, mine and our family I grew up in choose to see all as blood. Again I say that the family I grew up in was messy…extremely messy but somehow we were able to bond on a level that only those who share the same blood are able to. Now on to the point of my enlightenment… Family is important! I don’t care who you are or who your family is—in the end when everything has fallen apart all that is left (beside God of course) is your family.

I’ve been asked before if there was anything my children could do for me to not love them. No. They can kill, steal, maim, and fall in love with the same sex and I would still love them. I will be entitled to be mad or saddened by their actions but I can never stop loving them. I will have no right to shut them out, delete them from my life, turn my back on them, or make them feel that I do not care about them. I chose to have those three babies. They did not choose to have me. I owe them at least my unconditional love (as my heavenly father has given me).  As for step-parents I feel that the same principals apply. The step parent chose to marry the person who already had children. The people with children chose to marry the person with or without children. The children did not choose their parents nor step parents. Because a step parent chooses this life for themselves they must also accept the step-children as their own. With this acceptance comes UNCONDITIONAL love. I don’t care if your step son said something negative about you. I don’t care if your step daughter has different views on life then you—they deserve at least your unconditional love. Becoming a parent is a huge responsibility that has many rewards and many heart aches. The good with the bad. Don’t like it—get your tubes tied and stay clear of the opposite sex that hasn’t.

To really understand what family is let’s take a look at the second definition of family from above- primary social group; parents and children. Break it down…Primary which means main, chief, most important, prime, major and crucial. These words are pretty much self explanatory “Family comes first”. Social which means relating to interaction of people, relating to human welfare, offering opportunity for interaction, in other words… children learn how to relate to the rest of the world from their family structure (Products of their environment ring a bell?). Group means a set of people or things with something in common, i.e. blood, parents (step or birth) and ancestors. All together now—Family is- the most important interaction of human welfare that those who share blood or a mutual acceptance of being ‘related’ can have in this life time! Can I get an Amen!

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Part two of this enlightened path is siblings. I love every one of my 12 siblings. I do not have the relationship I would like to have with every one of them but that does not keep me from loving the hell out of them. I know I could be a better big sister (I’m also the oldest of this bunch). I know I could be a better friend. I guess that is why enlightenment is called enLIGHTenment—light shines upon the dark areas of our lives. The one thing I learned about siblings from being raised in the messy family is that there is a special, almost magical, bond that is formed between children that share the same experiences. My brothers, sister and I would hold family meetings after an extremely rough occurrence with our step-mom (step-brother was always included in our meetings) and uplift each other, complain, and remind ourselves that one day we would turn 18. Anyone of us could call a meeting at any time and for any reason. I truly believe that this got many of us through some of the roughest parts of our childhood. Don’t get me wrong we fought, argued, and bickered with each other as siblings should but when everything fell apart there was always us. We are kin (from #5 above- a person having kinship with another or others) nothing less would do. So this thought brings me to the present. No matter what your sibling may choose to do with their life, the opinions they have that differ from yours, how they act at family functions, what they may say to your parents, always remember that you shared the same good and bad experiences while growing up. It was the kids against the parents. It was the little against the big. It was the innocent against the not so innocent. It was all siblings against those who hurt one of the siblings. UNCONDITIONAL love people. No one is perfect. The gift of love is the closet we will ever come to perfection..... 

As is my way I have gotten a little long with the words. I will end this blog with this thought…How better off would this world be if the family unit learned the simple concepts of unconditional love, tolerance, acceptance, and kinship. Our children would learn these concepts and teach their children who would teach their children who would teach their children and so on. With all that love, tolerance, acceptance and kinship in the world people would naturally extend these concepts to other people in their life who are not family.

To all of my family...I love you.